Making Mindset Moves
My motivation is not consistent. I have ups and downs more often than I would like because i have to manage my depression.
I’ve always been able to function thankfully, it has never got to the point where I’ve needed time off from work. I have tried a couple of times to create a successful business and they haven’t worked.
When i closed my studio, I was determined have time off to ‘fix myself’ I still believed i could make the depression go away. I knew that I would want to start another business again, as I get older, I’m becoming less of an employee.
6 months in, I had an idea about sharing my experiences and an entrepreneur…well a not financially successful one!
I figured out the name, bought the domain site and bought a wordpress template and, sat on all of it for about 18 months. I procrastinated for so long because I was afraid of it all going tits up again. I have no savings, there is no financial cushion and no rich family to fall back on. I have a UK state pension to fall back on with only 25-30 working life years left. That’s is what I told myself, putting so much pressure on how to launch his venture, that I did nothing at all.
I had to work through my feelings on failure that I ad been conditioned to feel. I wasn’t deemed successful if I had not made lots of money and doing a ‘real job’ there were a couple of occasions when what i was doing was treated as a kind of indulgence. To let me get this creative shit out of my head then I’ll eventually stop and get a job.
Although I had had some great moments in my business, the main one of becoming financially successful eluded me and that, took a long time to get around and shift my thinking.
One moment that helped was an International Women’s Day Event where I talked about my ‘failure’ and how I wanted things to be different this time around. So many women came up to me afterwards and thanked me for my honesty, for being real.
I know that I respond to Realness and No-Bullshit Filters and that is how The Realness in Business formed.
I am naturally an introvert and do not mind my own company but, I realised that I could not do this business without support, I had to reach out. I have been following my peers and watching them reap the benefits of having people in their corner.
The support I needed was not going to come from Family or, my close friends so, I decided to find a mentor. It took me 3 months to research then approach anyone as I was about to spend a shit load of money that could be spent on the business.
But the money was going into the business. By investing my personal development, that was exactly what i was doing. I had just paid off a massive loan so it was a pleasant surprise that I had the means to work with a mentor without having to live on Spaghetti on Toast for 6 months.
In the meantime, I was sharing posts on my Instagram Feed, talking to myself as well as others and the posts were connecting because out of the blue, a friends friends reached out to ask if we could meet up, she also wanted to connect with like minded people. We did and hit it off instantly and now meet once a month to bounce off ideas.
Working with my mentor and having these lovely women in my life has made a difference. I posted this on Instagram this week. I’ve still been making life harder for myself by overthinking. A Lot.
My sister Fatimah responded with ‘ It’s true, don’t play yourself’ and now both phrases come into my mind as soon as I start to wilt on a task I have to do. My girl’s shade levels are a match for Pose FX’s Elektra, I don’t even try with her…luckily she likes me heheheheheh.
In a couple of years time, me and my Husband are planning some changes. My business has to be able to support that change for my contribution.The thought of not being able to achieve this has become greater than my fear of fucking up.
The connections I’m making help. I may be a solo entrepreneur but, I’m not the only one out there…and neither are you.
Reminding myself of my achievements also kicks my arse because I’ve actually done quite a bit to be proud of!
We have to give ourselves the opportunity to create the lives that we want. Not be afraid to show up and share our experiences so that others can do the same.
The future is unknown but, I know now that, if I maintain my focus, use my methods to deal with the stress when it comes (because it will) then I will be able to do this, and help you achieve your dream too.
Isn’t that exciting!
Ciao for now.